Accident Information And Suggestions As To How To Avoid Them Can Be Downright Disingenuous

Killjoys In Chief, the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents put out a proclamation in May of this year regarding safety around the barbeque. It states that, last year 1800 people required treatment at the local hospital emergency department following mishaps involving a bbq. But I am having a problem auditing the figures.

For instance, it reports that 800 were the result of to a scald or burn, two hundred had managed to cut themselves in some way. And what, you may ask, of the other eight hundred people? Alas, despite the large part of the total there is no enlightenment. What they did to themselves and how does not seem worth recording.

Here’s another. Of these eighteen hundred, one thousand four hundred had happened at home, and the other 300 in a public place. Do you notice anything? The other one hundred must have been damaged in a separate dimension where nothing is either private or public but everybody gets together for a barbeque and once in a while someone gets hurt and they need to take a trip to Earth for treatment. Do they have such things as a Weber bbq in this magical place or do they make their own? I’d like to know.

What I think what happens here is that the vast majority of the accidents get treated and the word ‘barbeque’ is used in the context of “we were having a bbq round the Weber and as I went to get the relishes from the fridge, went over the cat lying in the living room and got a bash on the head as I fell against the wall. Is this a barbeque accident? No, more of a pet accident I would suggest, and I bet RoSPA gleefully carve a notch in the log to do with bbq, Weber bbq, pets, and probably alcohol just in case. 1 misfortune, four reports.

This is also the same with traffic incidents involving alcohol. If a bus carrying fifty passengers brakes hard because a drunk swerves into the road in front of it and someone biffs their head on the seat in front requiring treatment, the official record will be fifty two people involved in an alcohol related road incident. (The other one os the driver)

RoSPA have issued a number of tips to follow to help avoid mishaps such as not starting a barbeque in an enclosed space. This is great but what is this ‘enclosed space’. A small patio with a fence round it is an ‘enclosed space’ (so is a large patio with a fence come to that) but surely this is an appropriate location? Another one says never pouring petrol, meths or accelerants on a barbeque. This is nonsense. They do not mean never, what they mean is when it’s already burning. If you’re using a coal burning Weber bbq for example, you may require something to get it going initially and these will usually involve an accelerant of some description. I do concur that petrol is a bit extreme but meths? Another suggestion is that you don’t light a bbq lelow a tree as they “have been known to catch fire”. Well, gratitudes for that, I lived in Canberra during January 2003 when the bush fires raged and destroyed some of the outer suburbs. I know trees can burn a bit, what with being made of wood and all!

However, joshing aside, RoSPA do great and heroic work, though I reckon much of it is probably pretty non-taxing when it comes to thinking up guidelines, but as long as there is a dearth of commonsense the temptation to tut and wag fingers will always be with us.

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